The 25 Dumbest Band Names

There are a lot of bands with very, very, silly names out there. I mean, what's wrong with something nice and simple like Robson and Jerome? Guys?... Guys?...

1.Enuff Z'Nuff
2.Joe Lean and The Jing Jang Jong
3.Limp Bizkit
4.Chumbawumba
5.OoOOo
6.Basshunter
7.Fountains Of Wayne
8.Bell Biv DeVoe
9.Bone, Thugs N' Harmony
10.The Goo Goo Dolls
11.Nearvana
12.Lez Zeppelin (an all female 'Zep tribute act)
13.Eagle Eye Cherry
14.Fake Bush
15.Proxy Music
16.Hootie and The Blowfish
17.Wet, Wet, Wet
18.Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip
19.Babyshambles
20.Nickelback
21.Def Leppard
22.The Ting Tings
23.The The
24.Hard-Fi
25.Bowling For Soup

Summer Camp @ Clarks, Regent Street

Let's face it, if any band are going to be at home in a shoe shop it's going to be Summer Camp. Aside from maybe a library or a boutique selling artisan bread and cutesy handmade jewellery, there couldn't be more of a perfect fit for their twee and dreamy sound than to be surrounded by floral desert boots and the smell of vintage leather.

The sense of whimsy and longed for childhood dreams created by their music is only added to by the fact that the last time most of us were in Clarks was when we were buying our school shoes. Branches of Clarks have a particular smell, and as we're ushered in off Regent Street it all comes flooding back: the parental anger as you begged for a pair of trainers that lit up as you walked, the disappointment at the 'sensible' black leather shoes that were your fate, and, best of all, that electric machine that measured the size of your feet with the metal bar. There was something so exciting about that moment you thought it was going to crush your toes, and the joy you felt when you'd gone up half a size. Sigh.

This acoustic set from Summer Camp forms part of a Clarks Originals concert series in partnership with Clash magazine. It's free, plus there are some discounts on shoes that mean while you watch you can also browse for your size fives – although naturally everyone is too polite and pays rapt attention to the group. There are only about twenty of us squashed into the upstairs display area, many of whom are bemused tourists dragged in by an eager man handing out flyers. This, coupled with years of being told to behave properly in shoe shops, means that there's a slightly stilted atmosphere. Polite clapping follows each song, but it all feels a bit strange.

Despite this, Summer Camp put on an extremely polished show. While no one could accuse them of being rock and roll, tonight's lack of squelchy synth-work means that their sound is a lot more raw than expected. Despite wearing adorable animal jumpers, there's a lack of innocence to their live sound which just doesn't come across on the EP.

Tall and imposing, Jeremy Warmsley strums violently at the guitar and almost makes it sound like a classical model. The vocals are also tighter and sound less sleepy than they do on record. Elizabeth Sankey especially has a prowling quality to her voice that makes much more of an impact in the close quarters of the shop. In half an hour they manage to rattle through much of their 'Young' EP, but the fact that it's so stripped back means the songs are barely recognisable and are often the better for it. Everyone loves synths, but there's something about this back to basics approach that really suits their style. Possibly it's the fact that Warmsley has folk pedigree, but taking their lo-fi sound to its logical conclusion makes the songs seem fresher and means they're far more resonant.

The set's newbies also benefit from this more rough and ready style. A frankly terrifying highlight is 'I Want You' in which Sankey let's us know in a growling huntress tone of voice that if she wanted us, she could have us. And then she'd bind our feet together so that we couldn't escape. Even Warmsley looks a little bit scared. Let's hope she at least buys him a nice pair of brogues.

Brit Awards 2011: The Winners

Hands were clapped, backs were slapped and the music industry drunk too much champagne last night as the winners of the Brit Awards 2011 were announced at Greenwich's O2 arena.

The event, presented by James Corden, threw up few surprises with Plan B announced as Best British Male and Take That walking away with Best British Group. Performances on the night included Rihanna with a medley of her more raunchy hits and turns from Adele and Tinie Tempah.

A full list of the night's winners follows below:

Mastercard British Album- Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More

Best British Single- Tinie Tempah- Pass Out

Best British Male- Plan B

Best British Female- Laura Marling

Best British Group- Take That

Best British Breakthrough Act- Tinie Tempah

Best British Producer- Markus Dravs

Best International Album- Arcade Fire- The Suburbs

Best International Male- Cee Lo Green

Best International Female- Rihanna

Best International Group- Arcade Fire

Best International Breakthrough Act - Justin Bieber

Making music with brain waves: An interview with Finn Peters

When I first read about Finn Peters I was confused, disturbed and very intrigued. Years of buddying up to science types and researching things the average man on the street couldn't even spell has mean that he's part of a pioneering group of musicians using brainwave technology to create music. In other words, he pops on a headset, plugs himself into a computer and creates jazzy trip hop-type sounds by recording the activity of his grey matter. Ahead of his group's performance at the Vortex Jazz Club we had a chat about the possibilities that are created when the brain is used as an instrument...

In as non-scientific a nutshell as possible, how do the headsets work?

Well, the guys that invented them have patented them and so they're pretty cagey about letting us know how they work. From what I understand the software mirrors the sort of patterns your brain makes when it is in deep states of concentration and so when you are plugged in, it responds to the beta waves created by your brain, which are associated with concentration.

How is the overall sound created? Is every member of the band making a different sound using their brainwaves to create an overall melody?

You can do that, or you can manage the software so it puts every person in control of different aspects of one musical entity. So when you're making a sound, one person will be controlling the frequency, one person might control the filter, one might control how loud the sound is.

How much nuance can you get from the headsets?

It's all based on how much focus you have. The harder you concentrate the higher the pitch will go for example. They did lots of experiments in the lab and found that musicians tend to be able to concentrate a lot over short periods of time which means that we are able to have a sustained level of control with them and therefore get more from the sound.

Can you see it becoming more accurate in the future? You can currently control individual sounds but do you envision a time when you'd be able to think of songs in your head and have a computer play them?

That's really what I'm hoping to do. If we could even get to the stage where we could get a computer to play 'Ba Ba Blacksheep' it would be amazing. It would be Nobel Prize-winning stuff. I definitely think it's possible, as they're already doing something similar using this technique. When we were first experimenting, Mick Grierson (the man behind the software) hooked me up to the computer and it flashed up a load of musical notes. You thought of one of them and out of the 64 notes on screen it would pick up which one you were thinking of.

Wow

I just couldn't believe it. It was that experiment that got me into doing this.

Do you get different sounds from different situations? If, for example, you wanted to convey anger or sadness could you do that?

Sort of. Different conditions certainly give you different results. When we were recording we did an experiment measuring my brainwaves when I was asleep. They were playing me different sine waves whilst I slept and then we looked at the patterns the waves made which altered a lot.

How have people responded?

Everyone seems to be really interested in what we're doing. We did one London gig and people were queuing round the block, but it has been hard to get gigs because a lot of people don't understand whether it's science or art. Or they think that it's just not possible.

Can you see this being a commercial venture? Perhaps this kind of software could enable people to create songs from their homes or imagine songs in their bedrooms...

Definitely. A lot of the applications would be very helpful for people who can't play an instrument for whatever reason, if they're unable to use their limbs for example. They could wear a headset and just be thinking of music. There are loads of different uses for it. I think it's an invention with a lot of legs.

It seems like it could potentially be extremely exciting...

The best part for me is that it's a different way of writing music. It's not just me sitting down with a pen and paper; it's me strapping on some crazy gear and experimenting a bit. More than that though it provokes discussion. It gets people thinking. We're not encouraged to do that very much in this country. They like to keep us calm and buying things and not actually thinking for ourselves. Anything that gets us doing that has to be a positive.

London Landmarks - London Dungeon

Value: 1
Queues: 5
Shop: 7
Family-friendly: 4
Enjoyment: 4

Total: 21/50

It was during my last visit to the London Dungeon that I realised what an awful human being I am. The scene was a spooky chamber where we were being played a video about Jack the Ripper's exploits. There was plenty of gory detail and people's nerves were frayed. Suddenly everything went pitch black. “The ripper is amongst us,” snarled the voice-over. “Get out of the room while you still can.” I fled. Never have I run so fast. Pushing aside tourists, I made it out of the room before anyone else, leaving my family to the mercy of the Ripper's knife. It was at that moment that it dawned on me that I would never be that person who saves their loved ones from a burning building. I'd just look after myself and let them smoulder.

Slightly more grown up but just as selfish I returned to find the London Dungeon almost completely altered. Gone was the reliance on animatronic thrills and spills. Instead real-life actors had been drafted in, showing that in reality, the most scary thing in the world is not a horror film or the global war on terror, but a man with fake blood on his face jumping out at you from the shadows. The acting varies quite a lot. Some of those playing dungeon masters and put-upon wenches do so with an air of barely concealed weariness, their eyes screaming, “I'm better than this! I've done Shakespeare! Didn't you see me as drug dealer three in The Bill?!” Others are excellent, remaining in character throughout. We're not traditionally a nation that likes joining in, but you're swept along in many of the stories, as full of hokum as they are.

The problem is that it's all a little cheesy. While you desperately want to believe that you're locked in a desperate struggle for survival, in reality there's no escaping that this is a tourist attraction. Illuminated signs showing you where the fire exits are located are clearly a necessity but they do somewhat ruin the atmosphere when you're supposedly trapped in the bakery that caused the Great Fire of London. Equally it's hard to be terrified on the boat ride to doom when you're told to keep your arms and legs inside at all times, and those with heart problems are escorted to one side.

The historical events that have been picked are also pretty odd. While the Sweeney Todd experience has me squeezing my friend's hand, and a section on body-snatching is pretty scary, the fire as more of an inconvenience than anything and a room featuring Bloody Mary only raises a shrug. Especially as they don't really explain who she was, leaving the tourists confused as to why we're watching a woman in a bodice screaming about burning protestants.

Far more hair-raising is the room where once again I find myself face to face with the Ripper, this time in a recreation of an East End pub. A chirpy young actor playing an East End landlord with a bit too much of an accent explains that we're in the tavern on the anniversary of the Ripper's first murder. Would he strike again? Of course he would. After ten minutes of building us into a frenzy the lights go out and the Ripper, dressed as the Phantom of the Opera for some unknown reason, jumps out from a cupboard. Even though you know it's coming it still makes you jump. I do that silly little gasp scream thing and feel embarrassed that the tourists next to me are looking bored and dreaming of the gift shop.

I did stay and make sure my companion was OK though. Maybe there's hope for me yet.

Milk Maid

Over the last few weeks our new music recommendations have been pretty electronica-heavy. Blame that pesky James Blake for turning our heads and our hearts towards post-dubstep sonic invention. Anyway, this week we're back in less bewitching territory with Milk Maid, a band who grew up listening to Pavement, not Tricky.

Milk Maid are from Manchester, where a lot of great stuff seems to be happening at the moment. And about time. Finally Manc music-makers are no longer having to rely on the legacy of the Hacienda, tales about how they totally once saw Tony Wilson sign a contract with the blood of Ian Curtis, or Noel bloody Gallagher. No siree. MM are striking out on their own. They're the newish project of Martin Cohen, previously from fuzzy grunge types Nine Black Alps. We always rather liked the Alps but, as ever, the NME built them up, destroyed them, threw their bones to the wolves and danced around a bonfire of their torched remains. Not that Martin has let it get him down. He's picked himself up, dusted himself off and started making music that retains the fuzzy driving rhythms of his old band and takes it into a more swirling surf pop direction.

Perhaps that's why the sound is so much fun. Hindsight is 20:20 and, armed with it, Cohen is just able to make music that makes you smile. He's done the whole being in the spotlight thing. He knows that unless you're the Rolling Stones, all that gets you is a couple of backstage blowjobs and a magazine cover to show your grandchildren. So now he makes music that's just him having a jolly good time, sometimes solo, sometimes with his mates. Of course it helps that he has talented musician mates and not ones that work in Nando's. The rest of the band is made up of the dudes from Weird Era, and with their backing he's able to achieve a meatier sound.

Milk Maid - Such Fun by neumagazine

The band have been playing shows alongside Male Bonding, Smith Westerns and Titus Andronicus which probably tells you where you should be slotting their music. Plus there are three songs on their Myspace which hint at a childhood spent listening to, amongst others, Guided By Voices. 'Can't You See' sounds like that guy who initiates a sing song at a beach party, 'Such Fun' sounds like The Vaselines with the female bits taken outs and 'Girl' is Tom Petty's 'American Girl' if it had been done by The Shins. And it's all fun with a capital F.

We're not really sure when this whole dreamy pop thing is going to end, but we hope it's not for a while yet. As much as we love a bit of synth experimentalism, sometimes you just can't bit a nice bit of sun inducing pop. Watch out. When summer comes Milk Maid's wares are going to be in high demand.

London Landmarks - London Eye

Value: 3
Queues: 6
Shop: 2
Family-friendly: 9
Enjoyment: 7

Total: 27/50

My friend is angling her blackberry around. When she points it south (hello Mum!) it tells us that we're in Lambeth. When she points it towards Big Ben it tells us that we're in Westminster. We're suitably impressed and set about tweeting pictures of ourselves suspended in the clouds. Self-promotion never stops. Even at 135 metres in the air.

It's an overcast day but the 'flight' (now sponsored by new partners EDF, as we are reminded fairly frequently) is still impressive. Half an hour passes in the blink of an eye and, aside from a slightly stressful moment during embarkation where I worry that I'll be tipped into the Thames, I rarely notice that we're moving. Everything is still and even though it's drizzly we're amazed at how far we can see. As residents of the fine city both of us come at the experience from a different viewpoint to the tourists we're sharing a pod with. They, understandably, see the whole thing as an exercise in naming and pointing out landmarks, desperately clutching at their guide books. Wasn't that where we were this morning? I wonder if the Queen's at home? I'm much more content just to stand and stare, master of all I survey, or something.

It's interesting to see a side of London that you only ever get to glimpse pulling into City Airport. The whole of the city's history, from St Paul's to the nearly completed Shard jostle for your attention, snaking around a Thames which looks from this height like a muddy vein or artery. The Olympic stadium looks suitably imposing. The glass roof at the back of Charing Cross station (something I've never really paid attention to) fans out majestically and is strangely striking. The Houses of Parliament are monumentally big (perhaps to house all those egos). These are the things that stand out more than anything. Below, the people are literally the size of ants. You feel like a giant. If you press your thumbs against the glass you can make believe that you're squashing them. Pretty cool.

It often feels like Londoners are too insular, too wrapped up in what's going on in their own area. I shocked a University friend the other day who was wondering whether she could go long distance with a guy in Birmingham by admitting that I would struggle to date someone who was right at the end of an opposing tube line. From this height you get a sense of London as a whole and you realise that actually, it's not that big. You also realise that there's a world beyond the city we call home, and that while London's not the centre of the universe, it's still the best place in the world.